“Hurray, hurray” the people of Detroit cheered, as the badger men grumblingly unlocked their chains “Three cheers for the man dressed like Abraham Lincoln!”
“Not just dressed as Abraham Lincoln,” Lincoln rose above the gathering crowd. “I am Abraham Lincoln!”
“What? No way!” said a dissenting voice.
“Abe Lincoln was taller than you!” came a second.
“And he couldn’t fly!” claimed a third.
“Also he’s dead!” said the first voice.
“Well duh,” said the second in response. “I thought we were taken that for granted.
“It’s a fairly major obstacle to his claim though, I thought it was worth mentioning.”
“Well it wasn’t, I think we all realised that.”
“He’s right,” said the third voice. “I thought we were taking it as read that he was claiming to be a resurrected version of Abraham Lincoln.”
“Precisely, thank you Mr. Third Person.”
“No problem, Miss Second Voice. That Mr. First One, he thinks he’s so smart all the time.”
“Hey, now that’s not fair!” the first voice spoke again. “You two are ganging up on me! I was only making a valid point.”
“Nobody wants to hear it!” the second voice shouted. “And furthermore, I…hey!”
Lincoln had lifted the person who had been speaking. “Sir, please. If you’re going to call my honesty into question, at least have the decency not to put on three different voices while doing it. Now honestly, what was that in aid of?”
“I dunno,” the man shrugged. “I just wanted attention.”
“Well you got the wrong type. Now shut up. Rest assured, good folk,” Abe continued, throwing the man back into the crowd, “I am indeed Abraham Lincoln, brought back to life via some mysterious means. I’m here for an as yet unrelated purpose by a shadowy organisation of unknown motivations. I hope that clears everything up for you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some unfinished business elsewhere.”
And with that, Abe rocketed back towards the direction of WIPE headquarters. It was time to wrap up a few loose ends. Or maybe snip a few loose ends. Whatever it is you do with loose ends.
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