“That’s right, it’s me, Agent Blake Dynamite!”
Lincoln looked on in shock as Blake Dynamite, his face now concealed behind an iron mask, made his way towards Booth’s side.
“Blake Dynamite…a traitor! I never thought I’d see the day,” Abe shook his head sadly. “Though admittedly because I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. But I never thought you’d turn traitor.”
“The only thing I’m a traitor to is you, you traitor!” Dynamite shook his fist in a failed attempt at a menacing manner. “Me and the Director here are going to put a stop to your wicked shenanigans. Isn’t that right, Director?”
“Oh yes, quite right, Blake,” Booth smiled, winking at Lincoln.
“Dynamite, are you a complete dunderhead? That’s not the director of WIPE. That’s John Wilkes Booth, overrated actor and presidential murderer! He’s not even dressed as a woman anymore!”
“Maybe not, but officially he’s still the Director,” said Dynamite. “And that means I’m gonna stick with him. Because I don’t know what kinda communist country you come from, pal, but in America we have a little thing called ‘loyalty’!”
“What…why…we’re from the same country, you idiot! I’m Abraham Lincoln! The 16th president! My face is on currency, for crying out loud!”
“You don’t fool me, traitor,” Dynamite squinted his eyes, apparently attempting to glare derisively at our hero. “The Director explained that all that super science was a load of hooey. You can’t bring people back from the dead with solar power. So you must be an imposter, here to break up WIPE and terrorise the planet.”
“Good lord, boy, you’re an even bigger idiot than I realised. Why would you still want to work with WIPE anyway? They tried to laser your face off.”
“Hah!” Blake laughed away the criticism. “Actually though, that is a good point,” he stopped to consider it for a moment. “Why did you laser my face off?”
“That was the Commissioner, Blake, not me,” Booth explained in his slick manner. Oooh I hate this guy! “I’d never try to laser your face off. That’s why I gae you a nice shiny new face to make up for it.”
“Oh, that’s right!” Dynamite smiled. “See? The Director is my friend.”
“Of course I am,” Booth patted him on the back. “And as a friend, I’m asking you to beat up that imposter there.”
“You got it, sir!” Blake saluted, and made a threatening pose. “Alright, you evil bad person! Prepare for the whooping of a lifetime. Because when you mess with Dynamite…you get blown away!”
Lincoln didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I advise you to laugh. It’s always nicer than crying.
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