The Director did a double take so amusing that to even attempt to describe it would ruin the experience, so let’s not bother.
“Me? Booth? Am? John?” she spluttered and coughed like an elephant that has had a nervous reaction to a tetanus vaccination. “I don’t know whether to laugh or vomit in rage!”
“Thunderation and hellfire, this is getting exciting,” the Commissioner rubbed his hands with glee. “I can’t wait to see where this ends.”
“It’ll end with our friend Mr. Lincoln here in a straitjacket, that’s where,” the Director fumed, taking another glass of fine Kentucky bourbon. “I trust you have some proof to support these wild allegations.”
“The only proof I have…is the truth! The greatest proof of all. But since you ask, I do have a line of argument that led me to that conclusion. If I may?”
“Please do. I can’t wait to hear your crazy explanations. Before I throw you into the Refuge for the People that Aren’t Quite Mentally Stable.”
“Thank you,” Lincoln took to the floor. “My suspicions as to your real identity were aroused when we first met. You used the phrase ‘It’s good to see you’.”
“So?”
“You made the mistake of choosing a disguise that had an eye patch. And I was standing in your blind spot. Therefore it wasn’t good to see me at all. I knew something was up straight away. That made me think…what kind of actor would want to see me?”
Lincoln made his way towards the globe-like drinks cabinet. “I didn’t suspect anything at the time, merely a passing fancy. But it influenced my decision to go for Kentucky bourbon. Then, when I noticed you drink it as well, I began to think I was onto something. A woman eagerly drinking a Southern bourbon, when there was perfectly good martini waiting for you? I was very concerned indeed. That’s why I asked my good friend, the Commissioner, to stay behind. In case there was any trouble.
“What confirmed it in my mind though was how you reacted to my disparaging comments on John Wilkes Booth, after you brought him up I might add. You seemed to take quite the offense, when anyone else would have let it slide. And finally, you tried to stop me from helping the good citizens of Detroit, when any real leader of a world institute for protection in emergencies would have been glad to let me help out.
Lincoln pointed another accusatory finger, meaning twice the accusation! “Therefore, it only remains for you to drop this charade and reveal yourself as that dangerous felon and lousy actor, John Wilkes Booth.”
The Director stared, a look of shock and horror on her face. Lincoln remained resolute in his accusing pose. The Commissioner looked back and forth between the two, waiting to see who would crack first.
“I don’t know what’s worse,” the Director threw her glass to the floor. “The fact that you made such a conclusion from such asinine deductions, or the fact that you’re totally right. For you see…”
The Director ripped off her clothes, revealing a fancy three piece suit, and peeled off the latex mask covering her face. Or should I say his face? For the face underneath bore a menacing moustache, which was attached to an abhorrent actor of diabolical intent.
“I am John Wilkes Booth!”
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